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उत्तराखंडी ई-पत्रिका

उत्तराखंडी ई-पत्रिका

Monday, January 16, 2012

Kick On The Ass or Pat On The Ass? (Eng)

It’s not kidding
                                 Kick On The Ass or Pat On The Ass?
                                                   Bhishm Kukreti

                     Yesterday, I happened to be with my friend lives in sky-touching- tower in south Mumbai. His daughter in law is one month pregnant and there was army of doctors, psychiatrics, yoga instructors, astrologers and couple of Jhad-Tadwale for day-today counseling and arranging future counseling for the child in the womb.  
             . In old age counseling the child when he/she was in womb was simple in hills . The Sas (mother in law)  would abuse the daughter in law taking care that all abused are directed to Mayka (parents of daughter in law) as Mwaral tyra mait kaunk, Keed podal woonk geri ma jaun  tu janmi’ etc.  By this counseling methodology, the child would know all types of abuses before he opens eyes in this world.
            At present, rich people arrange different music, different books, and different video films for the pregnant woman that would be child get the desired characteristics.
           Definitely, Arjun of Mahabharata was fully aware of counseling art for the child in the womb. That is why he told the technique of opening ‘Chakravyuha’ a battle strategy learnt from guru Dronacharya to his pregnant wife Subhadra. That is why Arjun’s son Abhimanyu was aware about Chakrvyuha.
                Father of great sage and psychologist Astavakra was like my or your grandmother. When Astavakra was in the womb, his father was chanting Vaidik Samhita. Astavakra found the mistakes in the chanting of his father and advised his father to correct the words of Vedas. Father of Astavakra became angry and cursed his child (who was in womb) to be deformed. The people of my age will agree that our every elder was like father of Astavakra as we have been listening abusive, cursing or bad words from our elders from the day one when we became competent to know language of our elders. We children used to listen words from our elders like – khad dhural twe tain (let we burry you), Dandi sajyali teri, ja tadam lagi ja abbi, Jakh jaili takhan ghaur ni ai (all are cursing for instant death), ni honi hwen teri, padhan jog ni hwe tu (all are cursing for bad future) etc. There are father of Astavakra in all societies at all times to curs the children for counseling them.
               There are stories about teachers counseling the princes in Nababi era. If the Kunvar sab or prince did answer the wrong answer of question asked by the teacher, the teacher would beat the poorest classmate of the prince. The quality and quantity of beating the poor classmate of prince by the teacher depended upon the quality of mistake indulged by the prince.
         In our days, there were no scientific instruments for counseling the children. However, we Garhwali were always wise to use the local innovative ideas and local resources. Our teachers and elders used folk-counseling- methods as slapping, striking, dashing, flogging, flipping,  pulling ear leave, different types of punching, pinching, kicking on the ass and different types of wood to beat the children. There were other counseling agents as Murga banan, standing on the sun etc.   
           Counseling from teacher’s side and parent side was common from both sides. If teacher complained about child not taking interest in tutorials, the parents used to abuse the child and beat by available folk counseling instruments before the teacher that teacher would notice that father is very serious about child education. If father goes to teacher that his son is not serious about tutorials the teacher would beat child before the parents showing that he (teacher) is a serious teacher.
     Though, there have been tens of books and hundreds of articles after Douglas McGregor published theory X and theory Y for counseling, the psychologists are inconclusive that whether Kick On The Ass (KITA/X) or Pat On The Ass (POTA/Y) theory is best for counseling.  
Garhwali Satire, Kumauni Satire, Satire from Uttarakhand and Himalayan Satire to be continued in next page…..

@ Copyright@ Bhishm Kukreti