Should I or Should I Not

A Satire prose
Should I or Should I Not ?
Bhishma Kukreti

I was busy in writing History of Garhwali literature in my study room in Mumbai that a phone call came from my village .
The caller said,“ I am Gram Pradhan of your village .”
I said, “ Tell me Sohan Chacha ji ! How did you call me at this early hour of the day”
Sohan Chacha said, “ Betaram ! I shall be fighting Sarpanch election and I require big controversy for my fame that I get ticket for Sarpanch post from my party. I heard from my nephew in Delhi that you are expert of creating controversy. You publish controversial write up about me in Shailvani weekly of Kotdwara.”
I asked,” Should I declare you the most corrupted Gram Pradhan Jaspur village ever produced in its seven hundred years history ?”
In the mean time, my wife came from our bedroom and informed,” There was a call from Kamal Karnataka of Mera Pahad” and she went
My uncle Sohan Chacha grumbled on phone, You ‘jnam ku Lata (fool by bith) , you should not tell the truth , while creating controversy for such a luring post. Secondly, these days, corruption story does not create ripples among readers. You think innovative ideas and create controversy around me . I heard that you are expert in controversy creation”
I wanted to call Kamal Karnataka but another call came,” I am from your Sasural (father in law village) and my name is Tota Ram . In relation, I am your brother in law :
Before I could ask him the reason for his calling he said,” I am Sarpanch of Synsi Baijron and planned fighting Block Pramukh election. I heard from Chhilbat Ji (a Garhwali Poet) that you are expert of creating controversy. I want that …you publish articles rel for creating controversy around me Dainik Jayant which is popular here”
My elder son came and informed me that there was a call of Kamal Karnatak of Mera Pahad
I asked my relative, “ Should I write that Tota Ram is hard alcohol drinker and alcohol mafia too.”
He advised me , “You should make a note that never write the truth while creating artificial controversy . By the way,, every body in my area and political circle knows that I do black marketing of alcoholic drinks. This news will not create controversy. Think inventive idea for creating controversy surrounding me and publish in Dainik Jayant ” .
I wanted to call Kamal Karnataka of Mera Phad but in the mean time another call came and the caller said,” I am Balam Singh from your sister’s sasural village. I am planning to fight Jila Parishad election . I heard from your Jija Ji (brother in law ) that you are professional for creating controversy. Please publish some controversial articles against me in Daink Be Panah Rishikesh“
I wanted to advise him but in the mean time, my younger son informed me that there was a call from Kamal Karnatak of Mera Pahad waiting for my call.
I asked Balam Singh Ji,” Should I write that you are engaged in many extra marital relationships , that is sex scandal type of write up.”
Balam Singh Ji said, “ Unnecessarily, I presumed that you are a wise person. You should not write the truth while creating controversy. Anyway, , after Narayan Datt Tiwari’s episode in Andhra Pradesh, no Uttarakhandi is excited about sex scandals of a politician . Now people think that sex scandal is daily life of politicians. Think ground-breaking proposal and create master piece controversy surrounding me and my family”
Like that four calls came from Garhwal for me creating controversy around them that they become news in their respective areas and in the mean time , my mother came from adjusting flat to inform me that a Kamal from Karnatak wants to talk about Pahad and is waiting for my call .
I called Kamal Karnatak of Mera Pahad (Uttarakhandi Blog ) and said,” Kamal ji ! sorry ! There were regular calls from Garhwal. Tell me what is so urgency ?”
He said,” Yes! It is very serious matter. The SER (Search Engine Rating , equal to TRP of TV channel) of Mera Pahad Blog has been going down and I require that SER of Mera Pahad improves immediately.”
I asked , “ Should I start writing on the subject of Himalayan , Garhwali, Kumaoni Arts or Folk Sports of Uttarakhand ?”
He said,” No ! No ! this will not help. You create controversy around me or Mera Phad . Will you create controversy immediately to improve the SEO up ?”
On that time I accepted his offer that I shall create controversy for Mera Phad but in past , I had already promised to Purnendu Chauhan that I shall create controversy in Young Uttrakhand Blog or related Blogs only . I had promised that I shall not create controversy for other Blogs than Young Uttarakhand .
Now, I am in great dilemma . I cant decide whether I should create controversy for Kamal Karnataka (Mera Phad) or not .
Can any body suggest .“ Should I or Should I not?”

Copyright@ Bhishma Kukreti, Mumbai, India 2010