Satire (Chabod and Fatkar )

Satire (Chabod and Fatkar )
A New Language for Uttarakhand - HiEngUttarakhandi Language
Bhishma Kukreti

My Uttarakhandi friend who is staying in skyscraper ( recently built tower ) in Mumbai was saying to me,” I agree with Dr Rajeshwar Uniyal, Dr Bishari Lal Jalandhari (who is a Garhwali) , Puran Manral, Garhwali poet Chinmay Sayar and many inventive thinkers that Uttarakhand should have its own state language.”
I said,” If a rich person supports any concept, it means the subject is relevant”
Enthusiastically , he said,” you are right if I support anything that means that matter has substance”
After a pause, he continued,” You know that every state has its own state language as Maharashtra has Marathi, Gujrat has Gujrat and so on.’
I supported, “ That is true”
He keep on saying,” Tomorrow, the chief minister of Uttarakhand , who is my mausa’s Samadhi’s sadu bhai’s badysusr;s sala’s son and that way CM is my cousin , will call me and I shall pursue him the matter of urgency of state language for Uttarakhand”
I said,” Do you have any idea?”
He answered proudly,” Yes ! I have best idea for new state language for Uttarakhand”
After a pause, he said,” I shall recommend to CM that by mixing Hindi, English, Garhwali and Kumaoni , Uttarakhand government should create new language for the state. I have already decided the name for this new state language .It will be called HiEngUttarakhandi language ”
I admired his idea,” What an idea Sir Ji !”
He answered,” I always, offer ground breaking idea to my motherland”
I said,” Agreed”
He said,” Then in that language, some words of Urdu, Gurmukhi, Jaunsari, Bhotiyantic, Jaunpuri, Ravanlty and Nepali will be mixed too that every community is satisfied with the new language”
I clapped,” The CM will definitely agree because, the new language satisfy every linguistic community”
He said,” That is the beauty of new language that every community will be satisfied.”
He said after a pause,” The CM is going to accept my offer as emotionally, the new language of Uttarakhand will gratify all .’
I said” I have already supported you for that”
He said” Oh ! Yes! You have already supported my idea”
After a silence, he continued pursuing his idea,” Then the government will do everything to popularize this new language in the villages of Uttarakhand.”
I asked,” Do you mean that the government will popularize the new language in rural hilly Uttarakhand”
He smilingly said,” Yes ! Of course! The major problem is in Garhwal and Kumaun regions because villagers speak Garhwali or Kumaoni with each other among themselves. Government should act very fast and seriously that Garhwalis leave speaking Garhwali and Kumaonis leave speaking Kumaoni and adapt new language that is HiEngUttarakhandi . All Garhwali and Kumaoni languages speaking fellows should leave their own languages and should speak in new sate language .
I asked,” Sir Ji! It will be very difficult for your children to lean this new state language in Mumbai. Is it not?”
He explained enthusiastically, “ In any case, my children do not know even, Hindi .Therefore, the question does not arise for my children speaking in Garhwali . The new state language is for those who speak in Garhwali or Kumaoni as you and your children speak in Garhwali and you should start speaking in HingUttarakhandi language and not in your own language,

Copyright@ Bhishma Kukreti,Mumbai, India, 2010