Hitch in Speaking before a Wrong Person (Satire )

 Bhishm Kukreti

                    These days, I am getting regular calls from my village and relatives living in Garhwal for solving common community properties problems.

 Today, there was a call from Gajju Bwada,” Bhishm! Do you have any worry or not about your village? “

 I asked,” Bwada Ji! What has happened?”

He said,” You migrated ones (deshval) have become so selfish that you don’t bother at all for wrong happenings in the village.”

 I said,” Bwada Ji! Should I send donation for any new cause for the village?”

Bwada Ji answered,” Yes! Of course we need donation but I did not call you for donation. My mobile is pre-paid. So, you call from your mobile.”  He put off mobile.

I called and asked,” What is the problem if not donation?”

He shouted,” You ‘desh vale’ (migrated ones) never want to know the problems of village.”

I once again requested,” Bwada Ji! Tell me the problem”

He explained,” Ravindra has started building house in Sanjait Jameen (public or common property of village). You all deshval (migrated ones) should act immediately for stopping Ravindra for his encroachment on village common property.”

I asked,” Gram Pradhan should act upon and should stop Ravindra Bhaiji for building the new house on the Sanjait Jameen.”

He said,” No! Gram Pradhan Ji can’t go against Ravindra. There is Gram Pradhan’s daughter marriage in the next season. You know Ravindra is the only expert of arranging everything for girl’s marriage in our village.”

I suggested,” Let Gobardhan kaka speaks with Ravindra Bhaiji.”

Bwada clarified,” Gobardhan can’t dream harming Ravindra.  Gobardhan took fake buffalo buying loan for his son’s marriage and Ravindra is guarantor.”

I said,” Sohan Master Ji is the best person to tackle the situation.  Let Sohan Master Ji speaks to Ravindra Bhaiji.”

Bwada simplified,” There are two three obligations of Ravindra on Sohan Master. Sohan master was caught twice for malpractices in Children Day Meal. Both the times Ravindra saved the skin of Sohan Master.

I said,”Bwada Ji! You are always straight forward and whenever somebody pushed your Vado (a dividing stone dividing the ownership of land) you used to slap the culprits.”

He answered,” That is different aspect of my principles. I will never allow anybody to snatch my right.”

I said,” Ravindra Bhaiji is encroaching into village property. You should act upon.”

He said,” First of all, Ravindra is not interfering into my individual’s right. Secondly, I am in negotiating point with Ravindra for a land deal. His land is just in front of my house and I want to buy that land. For village sake, I will never annoy Ravindra.”

I said,” It means there is no alternate.”

He said,” You should take the lead and should stop Ravindra for encroaching common village land. “

I answered, “Bwada Ji!  I would be happy to do so. However, in the coming summer season, we all Mundit wale will visit village  for our Sanjait Narsingh Poojan and nobody in my Mundit can dare to upset Ravindra Bhaiji as he will arrange everything for us for carrying Narsingh Poojan.”

Bwada shouted,” You all ‘deshVal’ (migrated ones) are selfish.”  And he put off the phone.

copyright@ Bhishm Kukreti 2011

 Satire on not stopping wrong doings; send-up on not stopping wrong doings; spoof on not stopping wrong doings; lampoon on not stopping wrong doings; ridicule  on not stopping wrong doings; scorn  on not stopping wrong doings; deride  on not stopping wrong doings; disdain  on not stopping wrong doings; derision  on not stopping wrong doings;