What do I do with my hands!

South Asian Humor, Hilarity, Satire: Bhishma Kukreti

             The biggest problem for smokers and alcohol drinkers is attending alcohol less dinner party in hotels or wedding halls. When there is alcohol party and smoking is permissible, the smokers and drinkers can use their hands as per need.

   However, when there is no alcohol and you can’t smoke in party premise, there is problem for smokers and habitual drinkers for what do they do with their hands. Smokers and drinkers are habitual for actions with their hands. You reach at party hall at seven pm and dinner would start by nine. So, you face problem of what do you do with your hands. As a smart smoker and as a hard drinker, I shall tell you ‘what to do with your hands’ in nonalcoholic and nonsmoking dinner parties.

  First, spend your maximum time near door that you may raise your hands for Namaste. Keep on doing namaste even to younger ones that you may keep your hands busy. You will be doing ‘namaste’ for keeping your hands busy but people will praise for your well-mannered, courteous and egoless nature.

   When you are sitting on chair, keep rubbing, pressing or scratching the chair arms.

    After some interval, rub your hands, close and open your fist or regularly put your finger into your nose or ear and then clean by handkerchief. Sometime, you should clean your eyes by fingers. You may scratch your back neck back and sometimes the calf. However, never scratch below your belly and above your thigh areas as people may perceive you are suffering skin disease.

    You may rub your cheeks to offer actions for your hands. Better you rub children cheeks than yours but never try rubbing lady’s cheeks for providing works to your hand. It is injurious, hazardous and illegal to rub other’s wife’s cheeks in public place or alone.

  You may cross your hands as cricketers do at third slip. You may do soundless clap at intervals but purposeless loud clap in a party are dangerous, injurious, ruinous to your image.

   In lawn party, you may do some bowling action, batting or catching actions.  

 My top most advice is leave alcohol and smoking. 

    Copyright@ Bhishma Kukreti, 24 June 2017